Magical Zombies

What is a Magical Zombie?

Magical Zombies are zombies that have been created by wizards, witches or other people that play Magic the gathering. The are unique in that they generally aren’t contagious, so when they bite someone they won’t become a zombie and they have no grounding in the physical world. Take a look at the examples if you don’t get what I mean:

History in movies

Scooby Doo: Zombie Island 1998 (not a reality show)
Army of Darkness
White Zombie One of the first zombie movies
Harry Potter: Half-blood prince 2009 (Zombies are called inferi in Harry Potter)
Idle Hands 1999
And a whole bunch of crappy movies (2003)

The most comedic of all zombies

You may have noticed from the movie list magical zombies aren’t exactly the biggest threat on film makers minds. They are however very unique and should you ever run into them it’s important to know how to fight them and survive!

Magic Zombie Fact List

Magical Zombies are generally not infections! Don’t go killing party members because they got bit!
Their limbs can function independent of their bodies, cut off and arm and the arm will chase you.
It’s generally agreed that magic zombies TOTALLY hate fire!
Their attacks are usually limited by geography: get out of the effected town and you should be ok
They have a nasty habit of popping out of the ground, watch your feet and avoid cemeteries

The Zombie Plan

After you’re done laughing because magical zombies are totally weak take a moment to realize that guns won’t stop them. Even if you blow their head off they’ll keep coming. Even if you chop their limbs off, all you will do is create five parts that are trying to kill you…granted they don’t have much leverage.

Your real goal should be to get out of the area effected by zombies. Stock up on molotov cocktails but remember that anytime you use them whatever building you run into will probably start on fire. Flame throwers are great too and you can make them from scratch!

Shotguns are good too because they won’t end up starting you on fire and they still help slow the zombies down.

If you can’t just leave and you insist on stopping the zombie invasion

That’s easy, just find the shmuck that rose those zombies from the dead and kill ’em. It might be difficult because they’re magic but it should be easy because they’re total wimps that play Magic: The gathering.

Just remember, if Scooby Doo can survive a Magical zombie attack, you can too.