Fights and 911

Yesterday Robynn took me out to dinner at our favorite spot, Communal. On the way back we drove by Fresh Market and Robynn brought up an incident I had completely forgotten. One day we were in the store and some kind of fight broke out. I don’t really remember the details but Robynn remembers me getting the people to leave the store.

She said “You’re always doing stuff like that. Jumping into fights.”

I don’t know if that’s true but there have been a few times that come to mind. One time we were at another grocery store and two teens were yelling and shoving eachother. I got out of my car and asked them if everything was all right. They immediately stopped fighting, assured me that everything was, and promptly left.

Another time I was driving on the highway and noticed a car weaving lazily in and out of traffic. The driver appeared drunk so I called 911, followed the car and helped coordinate the police to box him in.

In the last 5 years I’ve probably called 911 on at least two dozen occasions.

• “There’s a car on fire across the street from me.”
• “There’s a dead deer on the middle of the road.”
• “I just kicked several kids off my lawn for smoking pot.”
• “I just pulled up on a bloody accident. Where is it? Across the lawn from the hospital, better hurry, or not.”
• “That dead deer is back again.”

Apparently I’m action (or at least call and whine) prone. Really, I guess I’m a little of proud. But lest you think my ego is completely unchecked here’s the last time I jumped into action.

I was home at lunch and taking a nap in bed. Suddenly, a strange and loud noise woke me. I jumped to my feet to hear my toilet boiling. Actually it wasn’t boiling, it was spewing gas into the house.

What would you do? If you answered freak out, call 911 and prepare for evacuation then you and I are a lot alike.

Turns out your toilet shooting gas out of it is no cause for alarm. It just means they’re cleaning the sewers.

But common, wouldn’t you freak out?