We’re all familiar with the famous words of Ben Parker.

With great power comes great responsibility!

When remembering these words I can’t help but think of Google, the “do no evil company.”

Ben Parker enjoys his “damn paper for once”

They do have a great responsibility but imagine all the fun they could have if they stopped taking their responsibility seriously. It would be even better than Emo Parker trying to act cool in a jazz club (seriously, wtf was that all about?)Google could do all kinds of things to make the internet more interesting. You ask how they will accomplish that? It’s simple, Google rewards different behavior and all of the sudden everyone wants to do whatever it is that google rewards!

I apologize again for doing everything in list format lately but here goes

Introducing: How Google can make the Internet more interesting

Imagine, instantly all the SEOs would rush to put animated gifs all over their sites. It would throw the internet back to it’s hayday, circa 1995, when that kind of thing was totally acceptable, nay, totally tubular.

Now days kids all have to have their lastFM and their pandora or yahoo music, or even their “itunes” so they can enjoy music while they surf the web. If embedded audio became hip again then we wouldn’t need silly music players anymore because each and every website would have it’s own unique soundtrack! Recently gthing did a post about how to find good music but if Google would just reward embedded audio we would all find more of it every day just by surfing the web!
An added bonus could be if their were multiple pieces of audio that would load simultaneously. Then you could discover all kinds of music at the same time

If Google’s algorithm looked at how contrasted the colors on a page were we would get all kinds of web design gems! Most pages would be black and white strict with no gray but other pages would venture out into other contrasts, strict red and green combined with flashing text and embedded audio! Wouldn’t that be awesome!?

Come to think of it Google doesn’t have to do anything to inundate the internet with insanity. Myspace already did it. (Warning:The previous link may cause bleeding from unexpected orifices

That’s right folks. Check your feed reader have you noticed anything strange? No body is updating their blogs! I’m not the only one with nothing to report but all across the blogosphere the latest entries are getting older and older.

The only people on my feed that have updated anything latley are the loggers (ie the people that just tell you what they did the previous day) as for regular style blog entries, with their sass and frass, have decreased almost 74%! (see Pacman graph for details.)

I have a few theories as to why this is happening.

When I chose my cellphone number over a year ago I was going for something that was close to my brothers phone number. Little did I know that the former phone proprietor had a similar namesake to my own. It wasn’t long will I was taking calls for his booty calls, young women that I spent 20 minutes on the phone with trying to figure out how in the world I knew them. Finally, it dawned on me that I didn’t know who these people were.

Ronin 10:28: DUDE!
ok, you know how I’ve been getting phone calls for this Tom dude for the last year and a half?
they’ve mostly died down

Jon – 10:29: yeah
Ronin- 10:29: but this is the call I just got:
-: Hi Tom?
Me:- Nope, this is Dan
-: oh..I was trying to call this number ###-####
Me: Yeah, thats my number but that’s not me. Who were you looking for?
-: Tom ***** from Vizad
Me: Wait…from Vizad?
The guy that had my phone before was at VIZAD!?

After tracking Tom for a while, I finally know where he is. Now the game is on!

I was cruising around youtube today and I found out that Keith Olbermann was actually a writer for the movie Brick. I had no idea until I heard him speak. Listen to this wonderful line he slings (or watch the video below):

The guilty pleasure offered by the existence Bill O’Reilly is simple and understandable. 99 times out of a 100 when we belly up to billow bar bluster, nearly every time we partake of the movable falafel feast he serves us nothing but comedy, farce, slapstick, unconscious self-mutilation. The sideshow Bob of commentators, forever stepping on the same rake, forever muttering the same grunt of inarticulate surrender, forever resuming the circle back to same rake; the Sisyphus of morons if you will, but this is the 100th time out of 100 it is not funny at all. Bill O’Reilly has, for the 2nd time in just under 8 months slandered at least 84 dead American servicemen, he has turned them again, from victims of the kind of atrocity that our country has always fought against, into perpetrators of that same kind of atrocity. He has turned them into war criminals.

Not only is Keith Olbermann a spider spinning speech spells and he pontificates like Potiphar’s wife on poppy seeds; forever rambling a weak web of tawdry, but talented, tellings, forever clasped in the quickly collapsing cacophony of calumny; an exploitive expletive of alliteration, if you will, but he gavels great gusto and gravitas as if an embodiment of Colbert he thinks is.

BTW, in case anyone is wondering about the massacre that Keith and Bill O’Reilly are talking about it its the Chenogne Massacre that happened in response to the to the Malamédy Massacre.

The great thing about this report by Keith it is a perfect examples of hypocrisy. Bill O’Reilly calling the Chenogne massacre the Malmedy massacre is an honest mistake considering one happened immediately after, and in response to the other.

Keith on the other hand is a sharp guy and must have known what Bill was talking about but chose not to report it.

On the other hand, I really enjoyed Brick…